Kisses and Killjoys
by Psychosomatic Insomniac
Summary: What if Darcy walked out of the morning mist and Lizzie told him that her feelings weren't the same as they were last April? What if the Bennett family moved away, only to take a road-trip over Lizzie's spring break and come back to Longbourn? -AU-
1. Intro

_This was supposed to be a fic for Final Fantasy, I was just thinking about the scene in Pride & Prejudice (2005 version) where Lizzie has her eyes closed to the sun. I was listening to "Liz On Top Of The World" from the soundtrack and this just sort of...happened. When the violins swept into a crescendo, it made me think of a kiss, one of those kisses that leaves you breathless...I__ couldn't help it, this thing became a Pride & Prejudice fic after all._

_So of course, it got me thinking of all the possibilities..._

_What if Darcy walked out of the morning mist and Lizzie told him that her feelings weren't the same as they were last April? What if the Bennett family moved away, only to take a road-trip over Lizzie's spring break and come back to Longbourn? Will Darcy be waiting for her? And if so, would he be so bold as to propose a third time?_

_First Pride & Prejudice fic, AU, and I really hope I did it justice. Hopefully, multiple chapters of Lizzie and Darcy goodness because who doesn't love these two?_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any version of Pride & Prejudice. The original work, being the novel, is Jane Austen's. I'm just an innocent little fangirl who's watched the movie far too many times on TV, so pleasepleaseplease don't sue me for things I never claimed to own.**_

_Rated T for language (that I'm sure all of you can handle) in later chapters, and mild suggestive content that'll also come a little later._

_Review = love, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

The quiet was always shattered by that one thought – that _one_ thought she'd never been able to put to rest. She had her eyes closed to her surroundings, trying to just breathe it all in, trying to slow her heart, which was going at an erratic and rather alarming pace for such a tiny thing. _He's not here, _she reminded it, reminded herself. The leaves were dappled in sunshine, gleaming emeralds in the breeze that whispered through her hair, the breeze that taunted her still. The air was the coolest it'd ever been, the coolest she could remember since the day he'd watched her go. . . .

_Here we go again,_ she thought as the montage began behind her lids. She, looking at him for the first time, decided that he was an egotistical, insufferable man. And when they danced that night, he'd walked off in the middle of it like he'd thought the same of her. All the images thereafter spread out across her mind as stills, as beautiful as they were untouchable. And when she found herself going back to that night when they'd been so close, when she'd dared step closer to him, she'd seen something in those eyes of his, so blue she thought he'd found a way to bottle the sky. . .

And she'd wanted to drink in that sky, however intolerable its owner was. That was all she'd ever wanted, to drink in the sky-_his_ sky. . . .

"Lizzie?" A hand shook her gently. She let her head fall back against the window, made herself look as relaxed as possible. The sweeping violins that'd been flowing from her headphones hadn't done much to calm her when that one thought shattered the quiet of her mind – that _one_ thought of him that always turned into a hundred, into a thousand and two little thoughts of utter and total-

"Lizzie! Lizzie, sweetheart, c'mon dear, it's time to wake up and face the music!" The hand shook her again, maybe a little less gently than the first time.

"I'm already facing it and it isn't doing shit, Mom," She snuggled back into her seat, trying to soak in the rays of the sun without thinking about those same rays of dawn that'd danced on his face-

"Oh c'mon, Lizzie, just open your eyes, dear. Just one little look and you can go back to sleep, hmm?"

She didn't want to look, didn't want to be reminded of the morning mist and the way the clouds had looked like cotton candy that day. . .Or the blue of his eyes, so endless, so breathtaking that she was sure God had made his eyes out of a piece of sky, if she was allowing herself to be nonsensical.

"I don't want to see any of it, Mom," She insisted, curling up and into herself on the seat and wishing her headphones were noise-cancelling or noise-isolating or whatever it was they were calling it these days. Better yet, she just wished she wasn't in this place again, wished she had just stayed at home with her father. . .

"But Lizzie, it's-it's-"

_"But Lizzie, it'll do you good to get some fresh air, hmm?"_ That's how her mother had gotten her into this road-trip in the first place. That was how her mother got her into _everything._ _But Lizzie_ this, _but Lizzie_ that.

"For the love of God, for once in your life will you leave me alone?" The car had lurched to a stop now, but she kept going. "I don't even want to be here and you know why. All of you," She looked to her sisters, each one in turn, before turning back to her mother to spit out, "Yet you drag me here because of what? Of _what?_ Because of a lost love, a guy who I can never have because he was too proud, so caught up in himself that he couldn't even see that he was the only one who-"

"Lizzie, dear-"

"Don't you _Lizzie_ me! I've gotten so tired of hearing my own name in the last seventy-two hours! I've gotten so tired of hearing _his_ name in my head, gotten so tired of all of these memories, all of these-these_daydreams_ I've let myself believe in," Behind her sunglasses, her chocolate eyes were alive with tears and gleamed like the leaves in the afternoon sun. "I can't keep doing this, can't keep pretending I'm going to see him again. I know that I'm not, and I know that it isn't right to take all this out on you, on all of you…So I-" She stumbled again, looking for the right words to express everything that'd been bottled up inside for the past three months. . .

"I'm sorry I've been such a wreck, I'm sorry I've let myself become so fascinated with the notion that he'd be here again," She moved away from Jane's soft touch, knowing all too well that the girl only wanted to help.

"Lizzie?" And when she looked to her sister, regardless of the golden glow her ridiculously large shades gave off, she realized that Jane had those same eyes, orbs of blue that captured the sky….

"I've gotta go, I-I'm sorry," And with that, Lizzie scooped her mesh bag off the floor, threw open the passenger side door, and was out of the car before anyone could hold her back.

The dust hadn't cleared yet and it scattered with the wind. But they watched her run past the gates of Longbourn, watched her long, graceful legs carry her into the thick grove of trees that surround its courtyards. Jane couldn't hear the lap of ocean waves against the jetties, but both girls knew the way to such a place, both knew how dangerous those cliffs could be if you were to strike out on your own. . .They'd spent lazy afternoons there, climbing the rocks and looking for seashells to braid into each other's hair.

But she had a feeling that Lizzie wasn't in the mood to reminisce about their games, today.

* * *

_I hope I pulled this off pretty well...I mean, Pride & Prejudice is probably my favorite movie of all time, hands down._

_I'm sorry a thousand times if it's complete rubbish, though. (I'm not British, I promise.) I'm still kind of new to this fan-fiction thing, but I'll get better at it in time._

_Hope to have the next chapter up soon..._

_Review = love_


	2. Savin' Me

_So, I thought I'd give you guys a little teaser of what's to come for "Kisses and Killjoys". I was gonnaaa write more but decided that I'll wait...build the suspense..._

_It's not perfect, obviously. But I'm kinda proud of this thing, though I had a little inspiration for this chapter. "Savin' Me" (Nickelback) is why you've been graced with this update in the first place. I still think this is a little confusing, so I'm just gonna explain: The sun's setting and Lizzie takes a picture of it but wanders wayy too close to the cliff's edge when thinking about Darcy._

_So uhhh...yeah._

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any version of Pride & Prejudice. The original work, being the novel, is Jane Austen's. I'm just an innocent little fangirl who's watched the movie far too many times on TV, so pleasepleaseplease don't sue me for things I never claimed to own.**_

_Rated T for language (that I'm sure all of you can handle) in later chapters, and mild suggestive content that'll also come a little later._

_Review = love, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

She'd left the trees behind within minutes; it was too hard to stay there. The light had been too familiar and it'd whispered of things she'd rather leave behind. There were days where she'd rather leave everything behind and just start over again. Be someone else, live somewhere else. She'd have a different name, of course. If she was being honest with herself, though, there was no way to change that heart-shaped face, no way to disguise those warm, chocolate eyes from the people who knew her best.

So running away from everything was the best option, even it was only for a little while. The sun was starting to dip down to kiss the skyline goodnight and it was just too good to pass up on. There was no way to leave her life behind, not forever. There was no way to escape the thought of him and his eyes, blue as the summer sky had been.

But there were so many angles to look at the situation, and she hadn't been. _How nonsensical I've been…_

Her sunglasses had fallen off, fallen into the fountain during her escape and it didn't really matter, anyway. _Mom can get herself a new damn pair,_ she thought as she began unzipping her mesh bag, as she reached into the dark recesses. It took a minute or two to find the sunset again. Her heart readjusted itself, waited for the lens to retract and then zoom in.

And finally, she could breathe again when the image was frozen on the little Canon ESO. And finally, she could clear her head of all the clutter that'd plagued her. . .

But it wasn't enough.

She wanted to bottle the sky, once and for all. It wasn't about him, this time. It was about ending it, ending _them._ Of course, there'd always be memories. But she would have to deal with them, she would have to distract herself with life and photographs and college and long summer nights spent with Jane.

Still, he danced in her mind's eyes as she made her way up the cliff, as she seeked solace in the stars. Her heart was slower, now. Easier to manage now, but heavier than she'd liked. _I'll forget him, soon,_ she told it, told herself. It wasn't impossible.

Was it?

The montage appeared again. He and she in the rain that day, he, asking for forgiveness, and she, refusing to accept it, refusing to forget what he'd done. He'd dared come closer, dared look into her eyes, dared look at her with enough intensity to make a glass shatter. But it was more than that. It was gentle, even sensual. She'd felt his breath against her lips, silently asked him for a kiss. But when he walked away from her that day, he looked at her differently. . .those eyes had hardened like the sky had frozen over. Impossible, nonsensical.

And in all her revelations, in all her contemplation, she'd wandered closer to the edge than she'd wanted to. Close enough that she could hear the waves below, loud and angry. Close enough that she could see them pound against the jetties, waves themselves shining with froth like her favorite espresso. Close enough that her heart caught in her throat as a sneaker dangled in the open air, close enough that she felt a scream tear up and out of her.

* * *

_Lame cliffhanger, I know._

_But whatcha think? Was it terrible? Did it make you wanna gouge your eyes out? (God, I hope not!)_

_I worked pretty hard on this, so I really hope you guys like it.._

_I'm sorry a thousand times if it's complete rubbish, though. (I'm not British, I promise.) I'm still kind of new to this fan-fiction thing, but I'll get better at it in time._

_Hope to have the next chapter up soon..._

_Review = love_


	3. You & Me

_Next chapter of this thing and I am psyched! _

_Damn, been too long since I've written something. I don't think my Creative Writing group likes me much for my love of fanfiction, but whatever._

___This thing isn't not perfect, obviously. But I'm kinda proud of it, y'know? Had a little inspiration for this chapter, "You & Me" (Lifehouse) is why you, my awesome readers, have been graced with this update. It's shorter than I expected but I'm still diggin' it. Hope you will too!_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any version of Pride & Prejudice. The original work, being the novel, is Jane Austen's. I'm just an innocent little fangirl who's watched the movie far too many times on TV, so pleasepleaseplease don't sue me for things I never claimed to own.**_

_Rated T for language (that I'm sure all of you can handle), and mild suggestive content._

_Review = love, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Her eyes were locked onto what she thought was the bottom. Where she'd fall. Where she'd probably break her legs. Where she'd probably die.

The thought of death had never really alarmed her, never really scared her. Being in a situation out of control, _that_ was what scared her. And falling off a cliff, though accidental, could definitely be considered one of those situations.

"Lizzie!"

She could feel herself falling now, feel the world slow down to one moment-that _one_ moment where the stars swirled in the sky, where his face hovered above hers, where an arm reached out and-

Saved her?

_I think he just friggin' saved me…._

From the way they landed on the ground, though, it'd look different to anyone else. Their legs were intertwined and his hand was still locked around her arm. _It's just because we fell,_ she told her heart, beating erratically once more.

"Lizzie,"

Her head was still pressed against his shoulder. She didn't really want to move, didn't really want to stop thinking of all the other reasons they could be like this.

"Lizzie," Urgently, now.

And when she looked up, looked into those blue, blue eyes, she knew he wasn't a daydream. Knew he wasn't an illusion.

But maybe that was what scared her the most, the notion that the man who had seeped into her every thought, plagued every dream, was real.

She swore under her breath and yanked herself back on her feet. He was still there, still watching her. Maybe it was just a trick of the shadows, but she thought he was smiling.

"Did I say you could get up?"

"Did I say you could save me?"

He winced and put a hand to his heart. "That hurts, you know. I thought you'd be grateful. But once again-"

"Once again _what?_ You try being the hero only to realize I'm not some princess who needs saving?"

The smile grew wider.

"That's what you think, isn't it? That this is all just going to work out for you because you're smart? Because you're gorgeous? Because you've got money?"

He'd leapt to his feet, now, too. And for every step he took closer to her, she took one back.

"Careful, there. Wouldn't want you to fall again."

"What would it matter to you?"

"It'd matter more than you know, Liz."

She laughed without humor. "That's funny, Will. Because the last time we saw each other I figured you'd love it if I just fell off the face of the earth and went to hell."

"And if you _did_ do all that, you know I'd just chase after you, Lizzie."

"Liar."

"Truther."

"That's not even a damn word!"

"Stop trying to change the subject and just look at me,"

So she stopped mid-stride but didn't look up, silently challenging him. And he laughed at her, laughed and stepped closer.

"Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie,"

"Don't you _Lizzie_ me," She meant to sound strong but her voice was just barely a whisper, not even capable of being a hiss.

"I'll do what I like," Another step closer. Another frantic beat of her heart.

"And what do you like, Will?"

"Oh, I like a lot of things. I like this girl, see? She doesn't know me for who I am, just knows what I've done. And I can be a real jackass sometimes but I want her to know me. I want her to see me for who I am, not who I was when we first met."

"That's just-"

"You know what I like about her? I like her eyes, so deep and dark I think I could stare at her for hours and not know where the hell I am anymore when I look away. And I want that, I wanna get lost in her eyes, I wanna lose myself in her kiss, I just want-"

"Don't say it."

"Ask me what I want."

She laughed and shook her head at the sheer nonsense her dreams had turned into these days. "No."

"Ask me."

"Will, I-"

He was laughing now, too. Put a finger under her chin and forced her to look up. "I will throw you off this goddamn cliff if you don't ask me right now."

"You're ridiculous, I'm not going to-"

He stood behind her, arms around her waist. "Well then, that's just too bad for you, Lizzie,"

Picked her up off the ground.

"Will, wait-"

"Can't wait anymore. That ship's sailed, train's derailed, so sorry."

"What do you want, Will? What do you want?" She thought she could choke on her laughter, on her own happiness.

"This."

Spun her around, stared at her with a gaze so intense she wondered if he'd gone crazy. Because he was leaning towards her, leaning his face closer and closer to hers until he was-

_Kissing me._

* * *

_Fear not, cause this is NOT the end! Nope. I just like suspense. (and driving you guys crazy..)_

_But whatcha think? Was it terrible? Did it make you wanna gouge your eyes out? (God, I hope not!)_

_I worked pretty hard on this, so I reallyy hope you guys like it!_

_I'm sorry a thousand times if it's complete rubbish, though. (I'm not British, I promise.) I'm still kind of new to this fan-fiction thing, but I'll get better at it in time._

_Hope to have the next chapter up soon!_

_Review = love_


	4. Stolen

_The finale! (I think.)_

_Because all things must come to an end, so must this fic! And I'm actually kind of proud of this thing, you know?_

_Not to say that this story's perfect or anything. Because it's not, I believe that "perfect" is an imperfect word. But anyway!_

_I wasn't really listenin' to anything when I finished this up yesterday, or at least...I don't remember listening to any specific song. So I scrolled through my iPod for one of the slowest, mushiest, I'm-in-love kinda songs. Found "Stolen" (Dashboard Confessional) and thought, "Yeah, that works."_

___**Disclaimer: I don't own any version of Pride & Prejudice. The original work, being the novel, is Jane Austen's. I'm just an innocent little fangirl who's watched the movie far too many times on TV, so pleasepleaseplease don't sue me for things I never claimed to own.**_

_I should point out that yes, I borrowed the scene where Darcy keeps saying "Mrs. Darcy" and kissing Lizzie on her nose and her forehead and blahblah._

_Because every couple deserves their fairy-tale ending, right? Right._

_So this one's for Lizzie and Darcy. 3 _

___Review = love, hope you enjoy!_  


* * *

"Will, what're you-" She couldn't find the air to finish her sentence, couldn't find any air at all. And it didn't bother her in the least. . .

"I wasn't done," He whispered and leaned in to take her breath away again. Her sneakers touched the ground now, toe to toe with his own Converse, but her head was high up in the clouds.

"I don't want to come back down…"

He was smirking again but his voice was a little lower, a little breathless, when he asked, "So I put you up there with the stars, huh?"

"What would you do if I said no?" She took a step back, testing him.

And he took a step forward, eyes smoldering her own when he told her, "You'd be lying, my dear."

"So I'm your dear, now?"

"You are-you're a lot of things, Liz. I'll tell you in a minute."

"Why in a minute?"

"Because like I said, I wasn't finished kissing you. I've changed now, I want to finish all the things I start…"

"And where will you start, Darcy?"

"With you, Elizabeth," Was the last thing said before their lips met once more.

But this time, she didn't break the kiss with useless protest, with all the empty questions that swirled around her head. Because this time, he swept her up off her feet, quite literally. Because this time, when he made the move to put his arms around her, she didn't back away. Backing away would mean falling off the edge of the rock face again, and even though he'd promised to chase after her, she wasn't so sure one could run with nothing but air beneath their feet.

This time, the kiss swelled to a slow yet sudden crescendo, both participants playing the roles of the orchestra and the concerto. Maybe that was why the crescendo seemed never-ending, the heat between their lips growing infinitely hotter. . .

When he traced her mouth in a slow, silent parting, she pulled him back to her.

"Where are you going?"

"Air, Lizzie, air…" He sighed against her, blue eyes still closed in case she was just a dream.

"Don't tell me you're not used to this," She said with a laugh, forehead resting against his own.

"Actually, I-" Scenes like these weren't unusual when he was in-between sleep and waking.

"You?" He couldn't see the look she gave him, arched eyebrow and all. It was quite a sight to see, considering she hadn't smiled that way in months.

"I've dreamt of this, I'm just-" Another sigh, another erratic beat of their hearts. "I want to know that it's real, this time. That you're real, that this-"

"Isn't something out of a book?" His eyes were open now, staring into hers as though seeing her for the first time. The way a child looks at another with vast wonder and muted curiosity; the same emotions played across his eyes, blue as the summer sky.

"I need to know, Liz," She found his gaze startling in its sudden intensity, like he was searching her soul for answers to unspoken questions.

"Then just ask, Will,"

"Lizzie…" His breath tickled her nose, and upon blinking, she found herself staring at the spot he'd been a moment before.

"Will?"

"Hush, darling. I have something to say…something to ask you, rather. Dammit, I knew I should've asked Nathaniel first about it, I knew-"

"Will, what're you talking about?" She put a hand over her mouth to subdue the giggles his rambling brought.

"I'm talking about you. Us. I want to…I wanted to ask if you would-"

"If I would what?"

"If you'd-"

"If you would marry him!" A voice shouted out across the wide expanse of cliff. Both looked up at the same instant to see none other than Jane, smirking in the muted twilight.

"Lizzie?"

"Mhm?"

"Have I mentioned how much I _hate_ your family during moments like these?"

He got up from his proposing-down-on-one-knee stance to the usual William-Darcy-is-better-and-richer-than-you'll-ever-hope-to-be pose.

"Yes, yes I think you have. But Will?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck, twirling a finger through his curls.

"Mhm?" He murmured, eyes glittering like a thousand and two stars, so many shades of blue she thought she was gazing into a kaleidoscope.

"I think I've found a way to bottle the sky, you know?"

And he laughed, low but loud enough for her, trailing kisses to her forehead, her nose. . .

"Mrs. Darcy…"

"I think I've found a way to kiss the stars, see?"

Another kiss to both cheeks, her hair...

"Mrs. Darcy…"

"I think-"

"I think you've stolen my heart."

The next kiss shut her up for a couple minutes, maybe more. It was deeper than the others, softer and all the more maddening. They stayed like that for who knew how long, except maybe Jane.

"So what do you say, Mrs. Darcy?"

"I say yes. I'll say it a thousand times, I'll scream it to the heavens, to my mother, to anyone who'll hear. But Mr. Darcy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"You get the honors of telling my father tomorrow morning. And if you even think about getting me a diamond I will kick you halfway across the world."

"So be it…"

And the world could have melted away; they could've been anywhere, maybe even halfway across it, if only they thought so. The ground beneath their feet was green beyond imagination, spinning too fast to keep track of. So they kept their eyes closed and she didn't mind in the least bit when he picked her up off the ground again.

"Mrs. Darcy…"

* * *

_So, I think this is the part where I give a little nod to my original inspiration for this, the song "Liz On Top Of The World" by Jean-Yves Thibaudet. (I know, I can't pronounce his name either..) It's probably one of my fav songs off the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack. Dreamy little song..._

_More nods go to my reviewers (you know who you are) and any other songs that've put me in a writing mood. Songs like "Savin' Me" by Nickelback, "You & Me" by Lifehouse, and "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional. One last nod to my best friend for saying, "That's it?" when she finished the end of chapter two. I love that girl sooo much..(so go check out her fanfics, eh? Calls herself Peruvian Chick.)_

_But I mean, wow..._

_I actually._

_Finished something._

_And I hope you guys liked reading it as much as I liked writing it!_

_*so proud of me*_

_Review = lots of love, virtual cookies and endless appreciation from moi_


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